So today was pretty basic. I had to do my french fashion show with Melissa and Claire today. It was fun, and I think we did okay. IDK. But it was fun making the dress and shit. Plus, our was pretty believeable with our pumped up music and our sheet made runway. xD But today was funny, I'm not even sure about was was the funny, just that before lunch, I was constantly laughing. Me and Claire were trying to climb up this wall though, just like Ickybaras. AHA! So it was funny.

Oh, and my daddy set up the trampoline! HORRAY! It's is so much fun, and I love jumping on it. When I'm jumping I just can't stop smiling and giggling. I do all of these weird cheerleadery jumps and I try to do flips, but they just look like summersaults, but hey, I just got it so I'll improve. Jumping on it burn 40 calories 10 minutes which is okay. But the bottom BOUNCE is that I'm addicted to it. (aha, bounce, as in bouncing on a trampoline!!!!!!!!!!!)

Also, over the LONG, BORING, GROUNDED weekend I cleaned me room, and now it's so nice. My sheets are all clean and fluffy and my room looks all perfect. I moved my bed, so now it's really comfy watching TV.

Oh, about watching TV in my room... I watched Thirteen over the weekend. It was really good. But also really scary. These girl were outta control and all the did was do drugs, smoke, drink, and sexitup. It was really good though, and the mom did a good acting job. Lot's of people say that the ending sucked, but I liked it. It was so sad when the mom found out that Tracy cut herself. Tracy was trying to run away, and push the mom off of her, but the mom was grabing her wrists and pulling her closer so she could hold and hug her. They were both screaming, but the mom said that she just needed to be with her, even though Tracy was yelling I hate you.

So yeah, I'm grounded from friends after school until the 28th like Melissa. It sucks, but I get to spend some time with my family which is okay. =)

I like to listen to relaxing songs, without all the done up jazz. Just the singer, and his guitar or piano. Like Jason Mraz, and his EP, those are good songs because their simple, and you have to try and fill in the story behind his words. I also like orcestra music. I've listen to The Lars and the Real Girl sound track while writing once, and it was great. It was inspiring and whimsical, very dream-like. =) SO that all. I don't have much to say today really.

I'm downloading music. I finally have the Lars and the Real Girl soundtrack! Score.

So, this morning my throat hurt, so I skipped school, but it's fine now. Plus, I have Monday and Friday off this week, so thats nice. I think that I'll use the time to write more. Claire's grounded from the computer for an entire MONTH, and I think that Melissa is as well. =( I now why, and I was apart of it, but my parents were completely cool with it. Jeeze, I'm so lucky. But I do have to clean my room, and sweep up a bunch of pine cones tomorrow, which my mom said she may pay me for, with a grey American Apparel cardigan, of course.

mrs. pattison says:
no, i'll be nice to everyone, then im just like HM,
mrs. pattison says:
mean to everyone exept her friends
mrs. pattison says:
which isn't nice, it's mean, really really mean

....
claire. says:
i wont think your funny
claire. says:
and if i dont think your funny
mrs. pattison says:
DON'T then
claire. says:
whats so great about you?
claire. says:
NOTHING

Fuck you. ACTUALLY.
Jesus, I'm so pissed off. I'm just going to have to brush this off though. GOD, this is why I don't tell people ANYTHING. And guess what? Your right, so maybe you should stop talking to nothing. Ug. I don't tell people anything because I rather just cover it all up with being a "funny bitch" and so people don't suspect a thing. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. I hate myself and my personality and everything. Every little part of me, and yes this is so dramatic, I know, But your being dramatic as well. So their you go.

P.S. I've written more, will you read it? NO. Cause I don't tell people ANYTHING cause I know that I'm NOTHING.

Okay, so for my "novel" I think I FINALLY have everything straighten out. Okay, so everything is going to be from Aldridge's point of view, but because I want to explain some scenes with Odette, and without Aldo in the area, I think that he's going to have a "sixth sense" that he shares only with her. So he sees her when ever she's in trouble, and he also sees her dreams and illusions. Odette has always been a very dream-like person, and the things she sees are very whimsical; almost out of a musical.

So yesterday was okay. I had to wake up at 10 and get ready for soccer photos. Talisha said I looked cute that day, so hopefully I looked cute in the pictures. After that, may mom took me out to Mikados, we both got the super delicious bento box we get every time we go there, and we shared this gross green tea ice cream, I wish I got Mango. So we had time to talk, and I think I might try to get a job at the Saw Mill when it opens. My mom said I would be good at it because I'm graceful and classy. (aha, graceful) So I think I might do that. I'm already picturing the cute monotone outfits I could wear. Then I had horse back ridding. I rode this horse name Crystal, who was really healthy, but kind of boney.

Heres A photo,

 

thats not me, btw. It's her photo from the site.

And after that, my mom dragged me to Safeway to by some groceries, we got so many citrus fruits. We have a bag of grapefruit, a box of oranges, and a jug of orange juice.

Then I came home, and I was really tired, so I watched TV in my room for a long time. Then we had BBQ hamburgers and after that I watched Narnia 'till nine. After that I watched Clueless in my room and Mtv and two episodes of The Trailer Park Boys, which is a really really funny show. I stayed up untill 3 because I was waiting till my dad would get off the fucking computer, which he never did so I feel asleep on my bed, which was covered with magazines and pens. Only half of my body was on the bed, and when i decided to sleep vertically at six in the morning, my legs were all scrunched up.

HOORAY! HOORAY! HOORAY! YIPEE! WOOT, WOOT! HURAY! HURAY! IT'S THE WEEKEND, AND I'M SO EXCITED, IT'S GOING TO BE FABITY, FAB, FOR SURE! HOORAY!

nawt.
Okay, this weekend is going to suck, for many reasons, which I have listed in the following.

1) My rooms a mess, and i know my dads going to threaten me with some privilege if i don't clean it all up, which will take forever.
2) Claires at her cabin.
3) I've just been reminded with how lonely I am because I've realized that Melissa, Kiana, and Claire will soon all have boyfriends, and then they can all go on triple dates while I sit at home watching TV reruns and eating icecream.
4) My moms been easily pissed off lately.
5) I might be forced to clean the fish tank, even though I hate that fish and I want it to die.
6) I'll probably gain 5 pounds from sitting on my ass.
7) My parents won't believe me when I say that I have no homework, so we'll fight.
8) I'm still pissed off at everything.
9) I think I'm moving into my 5th seasonal depression faze this year because I feel like shit, and it's been extremely cloudy, so this is more than possible.
10) I'll try to play Sims 2 but my mom will start to bitch at me so I get off.
11) I need to find a job somewhere, and now I think I'll try Humpty's and be a total copycat because Talisha quit her job at LumberJacks.
12) My skin will probably break out because I will be to lazy to wash my hair, because there will be no need too.
13) I'm still scared from what happened yesterday.
14) I still regret how I've treated people
15) I still hate myself, especially personality wise.
16) Claire might be all pouty after she read this, and nag me to tell her whats up.
17) And I hate telling people "whats up" because theres alot more to it than I can explain. And I know that if I do, I'll regret it because I'll make my self look bad, or stupid.
18) It's hard explaining yourself so that people have some sympathy, even if your the bad guy.
19) I know this is super cheesy, but people really don't understand.
20) I want to move into the basement so I can be further away from my family, and I know this may never happen, because my dads kinda lazy.
21) Life really does suck for me right now.  I don't want to  be  depressed,  I just  AM.  When  I  tell  my  mom  this,  she  just says  that  I can get over it and that I'll be fine. Notice the I.
22) My little brother is a little monster, so I'll have to deal with him.
23) I wish my mom would take me to a doctor, so I can get meds.
24) I wish she was more worried about what I am feeling, instead of what she is feeling sometimes.

Some of the things over lap, and some aren't even reasons, there just thoughts. idk.

I'm sick of helping people.

So I haven't posted in a long time, aha, sorry. Every time I would come on the computer I would work on my Science Project and I finally handed it in, with out a bibliography, which I think is illegal to some extent. Shoot. Anyways, Brien goes to my school now. It's kind of cool I guess, were friends. He sat my me, Kiana and Melissa during art, and stupid Camrie comes on over to get some face time with him. Ug. And she's insulting me the entire time, trying to look funny, but really, she just made her self look annoying and she made everything awkward. "Your so perfect. Look at how perfect her project is, look. Omg, so perfect. It's perfect. Isn't it perfect. I'm not perfect. Hey do you know Emilie Durnup from Vimmy? Yeah, she's my friend. Soooo perfect. Wow, I'm so un-perfect. But I like it that way. Your so perfect!" And she just kept babbling for about ten minutes making me look bad, and trust me, I am NOT perfect. Almost the opposite actually. Wow, and she hate hates me I think, but whatever it takes to get to Brien I suppose.

Aha, and then when Brien went to talk to Mr. Westcott, Melissa's said: "Wow, Brien is like so anorexic." And I died, right there. It was so funny because it's so true! AHAHAH!

So today I went to Whyte with Claire, and stupid Claire bought the same shirt at me. Ug, and I picked it out first. I'm sort of ticked about that because I don't want us to wear it on the same day and look like total fucks. I'm wearing it on FRIDAY, mkay? Aha, it's okay though, she normally wears her AA hoodie over top of her outfits.

Btw, I really like being a girl. You get so many perks! I only had a $1.75 at subway, and I was buying three cookies which was $2.00. But the guy let me have it. This hasn't been the first time this has happened too. Once while at the corner store I didn't have enough money for milk, so then three other guys offered to pay the rest, but the cashier guy didn't mind. Being a girl is pretty sweet. If you look cute, have some class, and are polite, you can get away with stuff ugly, rude people just don't get. It's also because I'm brunette. I heard that guys don't trust blondes as much, and are less willing to help them, because they think blonde equals slut which is too bad, but hey, at least Im not one of them! 

I watched Lars and the Real Girl last night. It was SUCH a good movie, one of my favorites. I just loved the setting and Ryan Goslings performance. It was so sad though, I cried, Ryan (or Lars) was having a delusion, and his brother Gus thought it was all his fault that Lars couldn't be touched by people, or how he was so shy, or how he was so afraid that Karin would die when she gave birth. But I loved it all the same.

I really want to get the soundtrack, even though theirs no singing, well except for Nat Kin Cole ( I was sorta named after him apparently, Nicole, idk. But if I was a boy, my name would of been Cole, ew) I found out recently, that I really like compositions I think their called, or intrumentals. It sound weird, but I find them relaxing and I think some people ruin a wonderful melody with stupid lyrics.

Today I suppose the plan is with my family is that were going to do our homework, then we'll go eat something, then were going to some park or campground to fly Davis' kite, I also want to go to chapters or the Library to get Blue Bloods. It's a vampire novel =) and it sounds really good. From reading the basic plot, it sounds kind of like a mix between Gossip Girl and Twilight, so I think I'll really like it. I also want to buy and iTunes card, so I can purchase the Lars soundtrack.

I wanted to go shopping today but plan have changed I guess. I think I'll see if Claire and Melissa or Kiana want to take the bus to West Ed on Tuesday or something so I can go buy myself a dress and some makeup form Sephora. I also want to get gladiator sandals and mosasin boots, but I'll wait for those. Oh thats another thing I need to do today, go to LumberJacks and ask for and application to be a busser so I can get some money for all of my luxury items.